How To Have Sex (2023) Dir: Molly Manning Walker
- Ridley Coote
- Sep 25
- 2 min read
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It took me a long time to gather my thoughts on this film, a lot longer than it usually does. I had a lot of emotions to digest. The prospect of watching this coming-of-age independent drama, from director Molly Manning Walker, had intrigued me to a fair degree, and its consistently positive critiques seemed to more than justify that interest. I knew it was only a matter of time before I ventured to watch it, and I was confident that I would like it.
The film is an intense and unwavering assessment of British party culture, and a damning critique of a large portion of men and their so-called understanding of consent. With consent being such a major theme of the film, it should come as little surprise to know that this was a very difficult watch, at times. Honestly, even without those storyline threads, it would have been an emotional watch; the so-called 'basic' party and clubbing lifestyle looks so depressing and unhealthy.
The film felt intensely personal, and scarily realistic in its storytelling. That realism made it all the more upsetting to watch the more horrible moments play out. We all, without exception, know women who have stories like this, even if they haven't shared them, and it is utterly devastating. The story told here was deeply upsetting, and twisted my gut over and over, leaving me drained and crushed. I think it's important to point out, at this point, that sometimes good films aren't supposed to be enjoyable viewing experiences. That won't make them for everyone, but it doesn't disqualify them from deserving acclaim.
Mia McKenna-Bruce's performance grew into something absolutely tremendous, by the time the film ended. I can remember watching her as a child on the CBBC show 'Tracy Beaker Returns', and to see the growth in her as a performer is very impressive. She felt very authentic and believable, which only made the film's events more impactful. This was a stand put performance and then some.
The supporting cast were, admittedly, nowhere near as strong as Mckenna-Bruce, but they still provided a good base for the film. I thought Lara Peake and Enva Lewis made for a believable pair of friends, and both had strong chemistry with the film's aforementioned main actress. Meanwhile, the two main male actors; Samuel Bottomley and Shaun Thomas, felt a little inconsistent at times, moreso Thomas than Bottomley, but they served their purposes well regardless.
Overall, despite how tough this was to watch from an emotional standpoint, I thought this was a very good piece of independent cinema. It absolutely broke my heart into pieces, it made me angry, it made me want to enact change - it was truly devastating. It's the kind of film that should be an important part of young people's education into consent and sex education, because it addresses the so-called grey areas, and lays bare the inadequacies of emotionally immature and often willfully ignorant and complicit men.
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